I looked at validation-seeking today in the meditation space. I put up a rose to represent my validation-seeking tendencies. I saw a small, tight, pink bud, and the first thing I noticed was the streamers of energy this rose was sending out. It was saying, “See me!” “Notice me!” “I am a leader—why isn’t anybody following me?” There were dozens of tendrils of energy reaching out from this rose of me, looking to hook onto someone else’s space and trying to pull back to itself the energy of love, admiration, and being valued. This rose was not blossoming—it was holding tight to the energy it had, with a kind of desperation.
As I looked more deeply into this rose, I saw that its center was black. This blackness contained little me’s of many ages. As I watched it, I could see the times I ran after my parents, wanting them to see the real me. I saw myself in dozens of ages and times when other people had judged me and I had accepted their opinions as truth.
I also saw that this picture was, for me, an old truth, one that I have largely cleaned up and worked through. As I learn my spirit lessons, I embrace and value and own myself. Your reaction to me is simply your reaction, and you are welcome to have it.
When I look at the rose of me standing in my own certainty, knowing my own worth, and no longer asking anyone else to corroborate me, a huge new rose blasts across my screen, fragmenting the old one into shards of dust. This rose of my certainty is open wide, many-petaled, and gloriously safe.
The kicker is this: every time I post something, I have to remember which rose I am.